So Star Trek is now an Action series. GAG

So Star Trek is now an Action series. GAG!!

The trailer even makes sure to point out that it’s from the same director as Fast and the Furious for Fucks Sake! I don’t think that that is something to brag about here. This is Star Trek, SCIENCE FICTION (or supposed to be), not Star Wars Prequels meets Quentin Tarantino. Fast Action, Over-the-top special effects, on the edge of your seat suspense….where’s the diplomacy? Where’s the inter-species cultural dynamics?  Where’s the moral dilemma solved only by deep understanding and wise words from your captain?

Gone are the days of cinematic triumphs like “Measure of a Man” or “In the Pale Moonlight”.  Those were the sorts of episodes that questioned the status quo of daily prejudices and the cost of doing what was right at the price of your principles for the greater good. Now? Shiny effects and big explosions. Needless to say I am sorely disappointed.

So is Simon Peg apparently – and he WROTE IT. To be fair he is more shocked at the trailer and claims there is more substance to the movie. I’m skeptical.

I saw it coming I won’t lie. Star Trek (2009) and Star Trek Into the Darknedd (2013) were certainly going down a different path then I’m used to. There was an attempt to go more swashbuckly like Star Trek the Original Series, but it seemed to miss the mark and didn’t quite capture the charm. The movies were enjoyable enough, but it wasn’t Star Trek. It was something else emblazoned with the name.

What irks me the most is the GAPING implications of the last couple of movies because apparently we’re calling them cannon. First, Into the Darkness claims, and remember – it’s cannon now – that you can beam INTER-PLANETARILY. Yes I just made that word up, because the whole debacle is crap and doesn’t deserve real words. Why is this so shameful? you ask. BECAUSE IT NEGATES THE NEED FOR SPACESHIPS! Seriously WTF?! Oh, but don’t worry, moving forward we’re just going to IGNORE this fact. Ok, so it’s still cannon, we’re just pretending that it’s not. Gotcha!

I don’t even need to get into the whole “Magic Khan Blood” that AMAZINGLY cures DEATH. That’s some Midechlorian level shit right there. What an embarrassment.

What’s really embarrassing is the amount of millennials claiming they love Star Trek. No you don’t, you love Fast and the Furious: IN SPACE.  What do they know about Klingon Culture? That despite being a warrior race obsessed with battle and honor, they are the galaxies most passionate singers and poets? Nope. If the Klingons do show up they are bound to be accompanied by some pretty explosions and action sequences, because you know, fight scenes.


Where’s the crippling fear of the Borg? Granted, if we are following the loose timeline these movies lay out, we’re about what, 80 years, pre-Borg? But hey, since we’re time traveling now, I’m fairly certain the Borg would have assimilated that technology in one way or another and everything would be shit anyway. So whatever I guess.


So long story short, these movies are called Star Trek, but they’re not REALLY REAL Star Trek, according to me. They are fun action packed movies, sure, but the heart of Star Trek was left completely on the drawing room table.


-Casey Andrews



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